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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
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4:51 pm - watch out or i will eat you
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| In a Past Life... | 
You Were: An Arrogant Cannibal.
Where You Lived: Egypt.
How You Died: Buried alive. |
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 14th, 2005
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11:26 pm - uggggg
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I feel like such an idiot, and I would love to go on a nice rant right here, but I don't know what is going to happen. Sometimes I wonder to what extent the pressure of social forces can have on people, how it molds them to be certain type, apparently I have been molded to be (excuse the phrase, I find it offensive) socially retarted, especially when it comes to men. I know in many ways my potent feminism is just a reaction to my own insecurities about men. I know life is meant to be full of mistakes, that is how we learn, but must it be such a painful process!!! I am such a fool, such a fool.
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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10:41 am - this is silly
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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11:57 pm - hell yeah!!!!
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12:30 am - things that are awesome
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So this weekend I went to a wedding, I have to admit I was a bit nervous, I thought I was going to see all these people from high school. And the only people who were there were people I was already friends with or friendly with, so I ended up having a really good time. It was quite a lovely affair, congratulations Sarah. I enjoyed the fact that it was a cozy affair, had a great time catching up with old mates, and to surprise everyone, I caught the bouquet!! Most people I have told this too have responded with, " So did it fall on you?" or "Did no one else try to catch it?" and that was not the case. Yes, I actually went for it, and it was awesome.
Today, or should I say yesterday, I officially was informed of my acceptance into "Activate" the first performance event put on by the Present Tense. I finally have been accepted into a performance event!!! WOOOOO!!! Of course when I told my parents this, and what I plan on doing at the event, they were quite confused, but that came to no surprise. The big night is in late july, following my birthday, and it is going to be awesome!! Especially because guess who starts the whole night off.......me. Ok, so I am tad bit pumped. WOOOOOOOO!!!!
Modesty is overrated.
current mood:  excited
current music: Annie
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| Friday, June 10th, 2005
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1:57 pm - Crash course in women's studies
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Since I am lacking an in depth understanding of modern feminist theory, and I would to like to pursue a career path that requires such knowledge, I have undertaken the task of reading as much feminist theory as I can over the next few months, since most of what I do know about feminism I have gathered through popular culture and liberal babblings. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to hold off on the novels for now, but it is better that I do this kind of work now, before the semester begins, since at that point I will be so overwhelmed by Spanish courses and art making, that I will have not time to pursue my independent studies. Fortunately, working at Ginn has been so easy and has so much down time, that I can prusue this sort of work, as well as my preperations for the GRE, while at work. Basically at the moment I am getting paid to study, woo!!
At this point, the graduate program at Simmons is looking to be the top choice for my master's, since the school seems to be the most open to accepting students who lack an undergraduate background in women's studies, like myself. Also, as a smaller college, I will easily be able to integrate myself into the program, so I can gather resources to prepare myself for a Ph.D. program at a larger school.
Future planning is so much more fun than bitching about my social life
current mood:  productive
current music: air conditioner noise
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| Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
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8:24 pm - oooooo
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I am the only person in Fletcher right now, and it's kind of creepy.
current mood:  scared
current music: ghost noises
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7:42 pm - My life is coming together!!!!
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I can confidently say that I feel like I have managed to rise above a great deal of the depression that has clouded, well, most of my life. And so recently I have finally decided what I would like to pursue for my future self and career. I have decided that I would like to be a professional feminist. I have started looking into programs for women's studies around the nation, and I have pinpointed about 5 schools that I would like to apply to. Now all I have to do is finish up my undergraduate degree, create a killer writing sample (research paper on reproductive rights in Latin America), take the GREs, and apply!!! I also discovered that Simmon's college has a rolling admissions policy, meaning that if I apply by December 15, I can start in the spring of 06, meaning that I do not have to take time off from college or enter the real world!!! Once I obtain a master's in women's studies, I can then apply to doctorate programs in the same field, continuing my career in Academia and as a perpetual student, allowing myself to live in the intellectual comforts of the university setting. I finally feel like I have purpose, and I am actually looking forward to this semester, when I will be able to sharpen my Spanish skills, which will be vital to my new career as an international feminist, as well as to create art that reflects my sociopolitical interests. Also, if I continue to remain in academia for the rest of my life, I will be able to continue working as a practicing performance artist, something that I would not have had to give up, but may have had to put on hold if I desired to go into a professional school or get a real job. I am so psyched, and hence felt the need to share!!!
current mood: ecstatic
current music: my own singing
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| Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
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10:23 pm - hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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11:55 am - it's getting hot in here
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The air conditioner is broken at Ginn. It is so hot in here that the books are sweating!!
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| Friday, June 3rd, 2005
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10:50 am - Sometimes it is so hard to be a woman
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I have spent this morning reading various articles about women's health, when I came across an incredibly disturbing one in the Nation about Dr. Hager and how he repeatedly sodomized his wife against her will. This man, who is a right wing christian conservative, a recoginzed expert on women's health, practicing OB/GYN, sits on the advisery committee for reproductive health drugs for the FDA, and has no problem in using his religious leanings to skew his scientific understandings. He played a key role in the decision of the FDA to not allow Plan B to become over-the-counter, which could help decrease abortion levels in this country (now isn't that something that Christians want?, no wait abstinence is the ONLY answer despite its clearly ineffective role in sexual health management). And he also sodomized his wife repeatedly against her will for years. His time is up at the end of June, and it is quite likely that he will be reappointed. I am repulsed by this!!!
*Note that no charges have been brought against Dr. Hager, which is of no surpise, but that does not change the fact that I believe that his ex-wife tells the truth in her allegations. When it come to rape, the court can not be the factor determining whether or not something occurred, since so few cases actually make it to trial, particually those involving marital rape.
Also disturbing: surprise surprise, right wing conservatives are against the new HPV vaccine, since they believe it will promote promiscuity. HPV, despite being the most prevelent STD, happens to be the one that is least known to sexually active individuals, and so news of the vaccine comes of comfort to those sexually in the know, the ones that received a PROPER sexual eduation, a diminishing segment of our population. The new vaccine will not only raise awareness about the disease, but will play a vital role in women's health. HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer in women (causes 93% of cases), which affects 10,000 women a year, killing 4,000. Though this cancer occurs later in life, usually around the age of 60, the threat appears to not be enough to encourage safe sex practices. A vaccine would be key then in the preventative care of cervical cancer in women. But no, conservatives who condone condoms, another protective measure agaisnt HPV, and this vaccine, STILL BELIEVE that virginity is the soultion. BUT THAT METHOD IS NOT EFFECTIVE ON A MASS SCALE. The choice of abstinence is an individual choice, not one that should be imposed by society. These conservatives would rather see women die of cancer than admit that people are sexually active.
This is why I want to go into women's studies.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
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10:09 am - Why oh Why!!!
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I found two stories that enraged me today in the New York Times. The first was a cover story about embryo donation. The article describes the new movement, forefronted by the agency Snowflakes, where people can donate unwanted embryos to couples that are unable to have children. Most of the people involved are, shock and surprise, white conservative christians who previously felt that in vitro fertizilation is, who now accept the technology since it allows them to do the Lord's work, otherwise known as overpopulation. This is a severe blow to pro-choicers and stem cell research advocates, since there is nothing like an adorable cuddley baby to pull at America's heartstrings. uggggg...
Next bothersome piece was located directly bellow this infuriating article. In Kansas, Kay O'Connor, who seeking the Republican nomination for Secrety of state of Kansas, criticized women's suffrage, saying that giving women the right to vote is sign of weakness in the American family, that "the 19th Ammendent is around because men weren't doing their jobs." She stated that, "This is sad. I believe the man should be the head of the family." Why is it that a statement like that gets tucked away in the national briefing, when if it were dealing with race, it would have been front page news. This is why there is still a need for a potent feminist movement in this nation!!
current mood: aggravated
current music: silent, oh so silent
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
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7:22 pm - the more things change.....
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Recently I have had many old names and faces pop back into my life. Some bad, some scary, some good, some meaningless, some wonderful. The thing that has been hardest for me is being reminded of how I behaved when I was gripped by my depression, all the risks that I took and the damaging actions that I partook in. I feel different now. Even though I still cannot drink safely (so I don't), and I still have judgements of myself and others, I no longer wallow in my own misery like a marinating chunk of tofu. I just don't know how to face people that have not been close to me through this difficult process of change and recovery. I do not know how they remember me. I feel like I have to prove something, and even if it is not for others, then it is to myself. I want to know that things are getting better, that I am learning to live my life effectively and pleasantly.
current mood:  confused
current music: BBC
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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6:24 pm
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| Thursday, May 26th, 2005
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3:38 pm - short rant
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As if my luck with men had not been poor enough, recently someone who I dated LAST SUMMER for a FEW WEEKS and have no interest in TALKING TO HIM EVER AGAIN has decided to make various attempts to contact me. I, being the nonconfrontational person that I am, have taken to dodging these attempts and using this passive aggressive tactic to avoid any sort of contact. The thought of him makes my skin crawl, and his inability to understand my complex emotional makeup was even more of a turn off. I really don't have any interest in maintaining friendships with boys I date for short periods of time unless they are amazing people, and this is typically never the case. I don't need to be reminded of my dating shortcomings.
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| Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
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10:56 pm - things that cannot be changed!!!!
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That is it!! I have had enough!! This weather is going to drive me to sunnier warmer climates where the grass is green, the sky is blue, and where I can frollick amongst fields of color flowers in a radient sundress. My pants are soaked, my umbrella destroyed, and my mood is as dark as the New England sky!! Dear God, Bring Sunshine. Much love, Emily
current mood: cranky
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| Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
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10:41 pm - long live performance art!!
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| Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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12:39 pm - Internet Performance
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On my website, www.elputnam.com, I am doing a month long internet performance. It is titled "Panties in Progress" and can be found under the Performance section of the site. Keep in mind, it is about more than just underpants!!!
current mood:  happy
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| Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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9:56 pm - WEBSITE!!!!!
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| Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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9:32 am - Dry times ahead
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It is official, I am taking a break from my two favorite coping skills: booze and men. That means NO DATING, NO ONE NIGHT STANDS, NO GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO MEET GUYS. I was thinking of trying to get rid of crushes, but for the most part those are harmless, so I can still be a dreamer. Though the no drinking thing has been going on for about two months now, with two major lapses, the no men thing has been recent, and is actually much more difficult to do than I imagined. It's frustrating because I do not want to feel so dependent on male validation, but it is something I feel I have been socialized to do, for this I place a great deal of blame on Holy Names. Sorry alma mater but this condition happens to be one of the few things I have in common with my fellow graduates. It makes me question whether or not my feminist leanings are more a defensive reaction to this, but then I realize, "of course!", I want equal opportunities for all women and men, I want to be free to make any decision about how I want to run my life without my sex being a hinderance. Finding a coping device to replace booze has been surprisingly easy, finding one for men has been way more difficult!!! Stacy says that it is that time of my life to fuck and be fucked over, but I am tired of it, it's not good for anyone's self esteem. I know I am young, but I also want things in my life to be meaningful right now. That means I have to grow a greater appreciation for the little things, but also to question more carefully what I do and whether or not it is in line with my long term goals that I have set for myself. I don't want to settle down, I just want to truly appreciate what life has to offer me.
current mood:  determined
current music: That Dog
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